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GRAVY! shark! 2005-10-04 — 12:19 a.m. |
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My delightful husband Ryan just bought a Shark Steam Cleaning crazy ass machine thing. He was excited to the point where the faculty of speech failed him. Allow me to correct myself: he did summon the strength to make up a song, the lyrics of which were "Shark! Shark! Shark!" Any of you who know him should not find this at all surprising. Anyhoo, his initial mission was to get the nasty linoleum in our kitchen to stop looking like a vast expanse of yuck. But now he's got it into his head that EVERYTHING MUST BE STEAM CLEANED!!! Even our contact lens cases. So that's what's going on at home. This weekend we went to my cousin Megan's wedding on Long Island (LawnGilind). I was a bridesmaid. And yes, I wore my awesome Walmart sandals. Wheee! It was a pretty good time ... I didn't have to be in too many pictures. The rest of the bridal party got completely trashed. My groosman partner actually puked right before we made our entrance into the reception. Mmm boy! I love my cousin and all, but her new husband's friends are total lameoids. They look and act like they sincerely believe they're still in a frat. They actually gave each other high fives over my head at the church when one of their old pals did the prayers of the faithful. Classy! Anyhoo, the reception wasn't too bad ... my mom had this pantsuit that made her look like a wizard, so Ryan and I convinced her to pose in front of a bunch of candles and stuff so that we could take wizard pictures of her. She's a good sport. The students in my first section are behaving a bit better. Probably because they're all scared of my ferocity. That's right!! Last week I compared Antonio in The Merchant of Venice to Strong Sad and most of them actually got it. So I ran with it and read Antonio's lines in the Strong Sad voice. It went over way better than that time I compared the shenanigans in A Midsummer Night's Dream to Three's Company. I gotta remember to stay contemporary with these kids! Portia must not remind us of a character on 90210, nor one from Dawson's Creek ... but from The O.C. Faaaaaaaantastic!! I don't think I told y'all in here, but one of my favorite students from my second class had one of the best lines ever when we were doing Romeo and Juliet ... he said that in reading this play again for the first time since high school, he now feels like Romeo's parent. He said (and I quote loosely) "It's like, aww, Romeo ... you said you loved Rosaline, now you say you love Juliet ... you don't really love Juliet ... it's like saying, Romeo ... don't waste all your money on pogs!! You know you won't want to play with pogs next week!" At this very moment, Ryan is completing a Power Point presentation about how Bush's new suggestion for Supreme Court judge looks like a transvestite. No, it's not for a class ... it's to amuse his friend Brett (and to allow Ryan to engage in his true calling ... making Power Point presentations. He's been chuckling to himself for the past hour as he tries to select the exact snippet of "Dude Looks Like a Lady" to go with his animations. What a guy I wedded). Ok, he wants me to look at the glorious product of his time-wasting now. So I'm off. Sorry for bending your ear. I just felt chatty tonight. And also, I didn't want to do any work. Whee! |
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