GRAVY!

more of the same

2007-01-12 — 9:48 p.m.

 

He drove all night to see Boy Toy, just to drive back the very next day, because Boy Toy is going to Europe today.

He did that for me once, when I was down here and he was still in college.

Part of me still worries that he's infatuated instead of gay. I guess you can be both. It doesn't matter, really, if he's making a mistake, it's his mistake to make.

I'm sad that he blames all of the ways he treated me on being gay instead of just being a prick. I guess you can be both.

I think law school sucked the soul right out of him. It just gave him more ways to cover up feelings with things to do.

Maybe being gay will help him out with that.

I still know in my heart that he's a good, kind, generous, patient, witty, loving, giving, sensitive, vulnerable, wonderful person. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm the only one who knows that, and that there's no way I'd have ever found that out unless we dated when we did. I wouldn't have married him if I hadn't been absolutely positive that the guy I dated was in there somewhere. I really, really, really hope that if he never lets anyone else see it, he'll always remember that I do, and he'll always know that he can tell me anything, and that I won't judge him or reject him or make him feel worthless.

Blarg.

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