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GRAVY! scio 2007-04-02 — 12:32 a.m. |
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It's interesting how easy it is to write in this thing every day when I'm upset or trying to work through things but how infrequently I write when I'm happy. I'm happy. Are you sick of hearing that I'm happy? I don't even understand how I can be this happy this soon after all that crap with Ryan and his stupid boyfriend. Oh, that sounds better. Bitterness. Yeah. I still don't like the BoiToi. I don't want Ryan to be miserable or anything, but leaping lizards, folks, this is the dude he cheated on me with. I don't have to like him or want to hear about how cute he is or that ryan calls him "cupcake." Good gravy. Also, I think it's funny that up there I said "leaping lizards." So my mom has been freaking out at me a lot lately. She doesn't quite know how to let me have my own life. She got pretty upset when i told her i was moving out of my apartment to live with 3 other people when my lease was up. Her main reason was, and i am not kidding here, that it would make it harder for me to have boys sleep over. My mom. The world's most conservative hippie. Anyhoo, that plan fell through. She'll be happy to hear that. I don't think, however, she'll be happy to hear about my new plan. Dave's moving in with me. I know, I know. (I say that a lot these days). Look, folks, I'm not saying this isn't weird, and I'm not saying if I were you, I wouldn't be telling me this was stupid, but I am saying this: I've been having nothing but amazing times with him. He's just about everything I've ever wanted in a guy. He's sweet, smart, fun, thoughtful, patient, introspective, confident, goofy, spontaneous, and generous. Also, he has fabulous abs and likes to listen to me talk about poetry. He got along equally well with Bridget AND Cameron. My church friends like him. My school friends like him. I like his friends. I like his family. (His mom apparantly liked me a lot, but really, really, really wishes I were Jewish. Sorry, lady.) He's meeting my family (all of them - my brother, sister, bro-in-law, and nephew are all coming to NY in 2 weeks so we're flying up there to visit for a weekend). I know my family is going to adore him. How could they not? You can't meet Dave and not like him. I know I've only known him for 2 and a half months. I know I'm still married to my gay husband. I know that this is really bizarre timing. I know all of this. But I also know that I don't feel anything but good about it all. There's a line from Hamlet ... "In my heart there was a kind of fighting" ... I felt that all the time with Ryan, from the beginning of our relationship to the end ... and I don't feel that with Dave. Not even a smidgen. It just feels completely and utterly natural. Organic? Organic. I've never felt the least bit uncomfortable or awkward around him. Not even for a second. Not on our first date, not when I met all his friends, not two hours ago when he laughed at the smear of chocolate on my forehead, not once. Not ever. So yeah, ladies, I love Dave. And he loves me too. I know, I know. |
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